Reflections on a deer stand

Deer hunting for me has changed over the years. When I was younger I was much less patient and much more obsessed with bringing home a huge rack. It used to be that I was climbing down out of my stand by 9:00 and start tramping around the woods looking for a better spot.

Now that I'm older I'm recognizing the value of just getting time away to myself, to take in the beauty of the woods and to pray. I'm in no hurry to leave the stand as in my younger days and last week found myself still in the stand at 11:00 with no real desire to come down. In fact I wasn't that eager to see a deer as that would interrupt a time of perfect solitude and peace.

It seems that God speaks to me in the woods more now as well, probably a direct result of waiting and being patient. I was feeling very anxious and vulnerable last week but couldn't pinpoint the reason why, so I talked to God about it. He reminded me of a great loss I'd recently suffered and how I was fearful that I might loose others in my life that I love. He then reminded me that his love is everlasting and unchanging and that I will never be completely on my own.

I took some comfort in that but still felt vulnerable about those in my life that I love. My children will one day leave home and start families of their own, my dad recently died and my mom moved to Portland. One day even my wife and I will be separated through disease or death. If God is unchanging, people are anything but. Change is a constant for us humans and someone who is there for you at one point in your life, may not be the next.

So God asked me what I believe about love, I said "It doesn't last". In one sense, this is true regarding human relationships, but that doesn't negate God's promise to love me with an everlasting love. The thing is, He so often love me through other people. As a youngster it was through my parents and later through friendships and through my wife and children. As a result it's easy to focus entirely on the love you are experiencing through those God put in your life and to forget that it's actually God's love flowing through them to you.

So when you lose someone you love, the pain is real and you need to mourn it, but that is not the end of the story. God is waiting to meet you in that place and to lead you deeper into his love. One chapter ends and another begins and as a believer there is always hope for what is yet to come. God never does things exactly the same way twice, He's far too creative for that, so you just need to learn to let go of some relationships and look for what He has next for you.

I drove home from the hunt feeling somehow stronger. I did finally get a deer, but I took home something much more worthwhile in my walk with God. My faith has grown through hardship and I know I'm a better man for it.